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Keywords:

• Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model

Description: I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.

Keywords:

• I need to cry about outer space

Description: to someone. Can I call you?

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• Her name means "flower that enlarges

Description: and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up

Keywords:

• I just had the ultimate walk of shame.

Description: I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon.

Keywords:

• I came out of bedroom with my jeans

Description: on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.

Keywords:

• It didn't get weird

Description: until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"

Keywords:

• She used my dick as a microphone

Description: to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.

Keywords:

• I don't remember much

Description: but I know I looked hot.

Keywords:

• she's a gynecology student.

Description: i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.

Keywords:

• Dude... You called me at 3am

Description: to tell me you still had your pants.

Keywords:

• After owing so much

Description: in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory

Keywords:

• pic#6320490

Keywords:

• pic#6635364

Keywords:

• pic#6860035

Keywords:

• pic#6892230